3 Phases to change
your life


Ways To Listen


Hey welcome back to The Fighting Networker.

I’m looking forward to Episode 11.

We’re going to add a little more to our last episode where we talked a bit about

What keeps us from doing what we want to do?

Usually it’s fear and fear is a big one.

Fear has destroyed more lives than probably anything there is in terms of a
character flaw.

Fear is just part of life and there’s only really one thing to fear and that’s the fear of your failure to keep trying.

I mean just keep trying, you might be afraid but keep trying, you may be dealing with a challenge and you are afraid, just keep trying until you get it.

Being a network marketer we retail products, we recruit distributors, we train distributors and there’s a lot of fear that goes on.

Being a business owner there can be a lot of fear, having a job that has a lot of
pressure there’s a lot of fear. Having children, having a baby for the moms right, for the dads first time you had a baby it’s a little scary.

In business and being a network marketer, let’s talk about retailing and recruiting, that will be a bit scary for some people because it involves talking to other people and talking to people that means you expose yourself to the possibilities of rejection and the possibilities of disappointment.

So no matter how often you tell yourself that when someone says no they’re only rejecting the opportunity for change and not you, it still hurts.

No matter how often you tell yourself that getting a no, doesn’t mean that you have failed, it often feels like you’ve failed and, if there’s one thing that most people want to avoid at all cost, that’s failure.

So we must tolerate failure as part of our learning process and as a part of the
growth process don’t fear it embrace it.

Listen, it has happened to me many times being in network marketing.

When you’re going through a week or 2 weeks or 3 weeks and you have no new customers or no new distributors, it’s tough keeping your attitude straight when you know deep down inside you think, okay it’s going to work out, you want to be positive.

But, when you’re dealing with rejection and disappointment on a daily basis
there’s a tendency for you to begin to doubt yourself and as your confidence
diminishes then fear moves in and takes its place.

So fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear to try and eventually you find yourself
making excuses rather than progress.

It’s natural to be afraid, I mean fear is a basic instinct and the purpose is to keep us from getting hurt, so there’s nothing wrong with being afraid.

What’s important is that you make sure that you’re afraid of the right thing
otherwise fear overtakes your opportunity for success and I see it happen more than I like to see.

Think about something here for a moment, we talk to people, and you think that the most important thing that we can do in network marketing is talking to people.

Well what’s the worst thing that can happen when you talk to someone, the worst thing that can happen, what is it?

They say no thank you; they say no, that’s it.

Not no to you, not no to your goals or your dreams and not no to your chance for success just no to your products and opportunity at that moment.

Now they’ll walk away from your talk or your presentation perhaps a little bit
poor for not seeing what you see.

But, you’ve walked away from that talk, from that presentation or invitation more valuable for having the opportunity and the experience of talking to another person and sharpening your skills of talking or communicating.

So now think about what will happen to your business if you don’t talk to people.

What will that do to your future possibilities?

What will that do to your self confidence? It will wear it down.

What will that do to your ability to move up in your pay plan and grow your business?

And, what will that do to the future of your family?

You see there’s nothing wrong with being afraid but if you’re going to fear
something, fear your failure to try, just do it, take action, at every opportune
moment take action.

Many network marketers think that it is about being the best recruiter and best
retailer that’s a lie that’s not true.

Network marketing isn’t about that; being the best recruiter or the best retailer, or being the best meeting giver presenter, that’s ridiculous.

Network marketing is about the chance to be the best that you possibly can.

And to be the best that you can, you must do your best and not just when it’s easy, not just when you feel like and not just when someone tells you to do it, but consistently every single day.

So if you’re doing your best and taking advantage of every opportune moment
that comes your way to talk to people with enthusiasm, sincerity, conviction and integrity then you will absolutely achieve your dreams and goals in network marketing it’s just a matter of time.

Fear is a big one and it takes a lot of people out of business, it takes a lot of
people a life.

Some people especially now, I mean, we’re in lockdown with COVID-19 and still going on it seems like a long time, months.

But we can’t be afraid; we’ve got to inhale courage and exhale fear.

Let me take this a little further and talk about 3 phases to change your life.

There are different phases that we go through and I call them 3 phases to change your life.

The 8 bridges to freedom are bridges I crossed every day for over 30 years.

To build a very successful business, the first bridge is fear and you’ve got to cross that bridge every day.

The second bridge is to have a plan, I mean I know a lot of people in business that don’t have a plan and if they do have a plan it’s changing from like week to week they don’t stick to one plan.

The third bridge you need to cross daily is called the bridge of teachability.

You’ve got to be teachable and you’ve got to be like having a business mentor or constantly reading the good books.

The book you don’t read can’t help you.

I had a talk with the great Les Brown and he has a new book that just came out

You’ve got to read the books and be teachable.

The book is called “You’ve Got To Be Hungry”.

Read the books, attend the seminars and listen and watch videos on Youtube.

On YouTube you have access to good stuff that you can listen to with free access.

But the point is, for things to get better we have to constantly be teachable and that’s Bridge number 3.

Bridge number 4 is what I call the momentum bridge, every day you’ve got to stay consistent and if you’re going to get in shape you got to go to the gym everyday, so consistency is a big deal.

People struggle with what I called the momentum bridge, they can’t gain any
momentum in relationships, and they can’t gain any momentum if they’re on a diet or exercising, work or business.

Because they don’t stay consistent with the amount of things they need to do every day to gain momentum so that they can grow regardless if it’s a relationship or getting in shape whatever it might be you have to stay consistent.

Bridge number 5 is, love your work, whatever it is you have to love what you do.

Bridge number 6 you have to have Impersonal love for people and circumstances they create, you’ve got to have this impersonal love regardless of the person.

Bridge number 7, Testing you’re going to be tested and one of the big tests is our self thinking not just testing from other people you are dealing with.

If you’re dealing with a jerk and you have impersonal love, you let the jerk be a jerk, but bridge number 7; that testing bridge we have to cross every day is the thought testing, the way we think has to change.

We’ve got to be very careful and always analyze our thoughts’s awareness of what we are thinking.

Bridge number 8 is the Winners Bridge, that means at the end of the day you
know, you’ve finished your day and you’re like yeah man I got through that day and it was a great day and you go to bed, you sleep well and you wake up the next day excited about life.

Do you know how many people wake up and they’re not excited about life?

That’s pretty depressing.

I mean how many days can you wake up and not be excited about life, being
totally depressed doesn’t take long and this becomes a habit.

I talk a lot about these 8 bridges to freedom and bridge number 8 is the winners bridge; you go to bed, you had a great day, you wake up, you start your day and you feel like a winner.

I want to go back now, let’s backtrack a little bit.

We talked about fear, how to let that fear go, how to deal with that and only fear your failure to not try.

Keep trying until you become stronger.

The 3 phases to change your life, this is important and I picked it up early on and it really helped me.

By the way changing your life it can be in relationships, maybe you’re just not
good with relationships, and it could be exercise,or your business or job.

Changing your life is an important part of all areas of your life, maybe you’re
trying to get in shape and you’re on a diet, whatever it might be.

There are phases (3) that apply to all areas of our life if we want to change the situation.

Phase number one is the Discipline Phase.

The word discipline kind of means a bit of pain, no pain no gain a discipline, the
feeling of pain is in the discipline phase regardless if you’re working on a relationship.

You need to have more of a relaxed mental attitude, a little more composure and have a little more compassion and patience.

There are times you get a little flippy with your mouth, all you need to do is work on that.

So, you have to have discipline in a relationship when you want to say something that you know that could probably set things off and you do it anyway and now you’re on to the next person in a relationship.

Well discipline is an important phase and there’s pain that’s attached to it,
whether it’s going to the gym every day.

Listen, did you know why most people fail at the gym?

By the way I don’t know if you know that.

But, most people fail at the gym that’s right, they failed the gym because they
don’t have the discipline and they can’t get through that first phase, that
discipline phase, that pain.

When you go to the gym what happens, the first week you’re in pain, the first month you’re still in pain and struggling.

You wake and you are sore and your muscles are sore, especially if you haven’t worked out in a while.

The discipline phase lasts for 30 to 90 days and for fast learners, depending on your upbringing and character, you can get through the discipline phase in
probably 30 days, about the fastest I’ve ever seen anybody get through the
discipline phase.

But, typically it’s about 90 days for everybody, I’m a slow learner, it took me about 90 days to get through the discipline phase which means pain for about 3 months.

And that phase, that discipline phase, whether that’s going to the gym every day, staying consistent in your work with your plan every day or relationship having patients with your thinking and your attitude, you’ve got to have discipline for about 90 days and then what happens after about 90 days of being in that discipline phase.

We’re talking about 3 phases to change your life, but after that first phase of the discipline phase, you’ve got to follow and stick to your plan.

You can’t jump from one plan to the next; you’ve got to stay on a plan.

That’s why they talk about the 90 day plan so much in business, because that’s the discipline phase.

Most people never make it through the discipline phase in anything they do.

When it comes down to trying to change their life as an individual, to change their body, to change their thinking and to change their finances, they can’t get through it, they can’t make it to the end of the first 90 days and they’re stuck in that first phase forever.

Someone going to the gym, they’re always in pain because they can’t get through that first 90 days.

What happens when you do get through that first 90 days?

You now move into the second phase which is the Habit phase, it becomes easier.

It starts to become a habit, in a relationship you have more tolerance, more compassion and you’re a better listener and your relationships are becoming better because it’s become a habit.

It takes about 90 days to get through that habit phase and for a fast learner you can pick it up in 30 days but it takes time to get through that.

In this second phase the Habit phase what happens is, the discipline, that pain goes away, you don’t have that pain so much, your going to the gym it’s much easier and you’re making better choices in the food you eat.

It’s much easier and becoming more natural to you develop a new habit its now much more tolerable, you’re not in pain and the discipline phase is gone.

But, you have to be careful because you could slide back into the discipline phase, if you don’t stay consistent and so it takes about another 90 days or so to get through that habit phase and move into the third and final phase.

So you went from the discipline phase about 90 days and then it became a habit, it becomes easier, things are going better for you, you find your business is running smoothly because what used to be a discipline has now become a habit and you actually start to enjoy your work.

After about 6 months in these two phases in changing your life, you’ve gone through the discipline phase and now you’ve gone through the habit phase, then now you are moving into the third phase which I call the Lifestyle phase.

The lifestyle phase means you made it, it’s like clear sailing, with your relationships, your diet, your exercise, your work or your business.

Your life is changing big time and it takes another 90 days for that lifestyle phase to get locked in there.

Now you’re enjoying life, you wake up in the morning, you feel better about
everything in life, and you know you can turn a discipline into a habit, then habit into a lifestyle.

Now you’re making much better choices in the things you do.

It’s now a lifestyle, it’s actually difficult for you to go back to those old habits
because it’s now become a lifestyle a better you.

You enjoy talking to people, you enjoy the procedures to build your business it’s a lifestyle.

It’s almost impossible for you not to do it, it’s become part of you and your
character has changed and this is an important concept in the 3 phases to change your life.

If you’re a quick learner, if you’re smart, if you had a good upbringing, you had good discipline and good family upbringing, you could probably get through the 3 phases in as short as 90 days.

But typically it takes 9 months or so for the average person to change their life.

With your relationships, your diet, your body, your exercise and fitness, your work and your career or being a better employee or running your business as a network marketer, it’s going to take you 3 to 9 months depending on your character as a person.

These 3 phases to change your life is a real deal.

Remember most people never get to the habit phase, never! They can’t get past the discipline phase.

I know people in network marketing, in my company and my organization that
have been dealing with this discipline phase for a year and they’ve been in
business for a year.

I’ve got people in my organization that have been around for 5 years and they’re still stuck in this discipline phase, they’re always in pain and still working on it, they’re not given up, they’re not going to quit, but, gosh! I mean enough pain, enough discipline.

Stay consistent, stay very consistent, that’s bridge the Momentum bridge and you’ll get through these phases, you’ll get into the habit phase which is much more enjoyable and you’ll reach phase 3, the lifestyle phase where you become a better new improved you.

I hope this episode helps you.

Please, subscribe to my podcast and you’ll get every episode that I do, it’ll be sent off to you by email.

Also give me a 5 star review; if you feel it’s a 5 star, it really helps me out.

Until our next time together remember that “Winners never quit and quitters
never win, so when you’re being tested fight for what you believe in because the harder you work the luckier you will get”

Talk to you next time God bless your day and keep the faith.

From the Desk of Jack Silva


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